I’m running a little low on patience lately, especially when it comes to my children and my husband.
My daughter (four years-old) has developed a severe, paralyzing anxiety laden reaction when I leave the room. For example, if we are in the family room and I leave to go to the kitchen, she follows me . She wants to know what I’m doing, where I will be, how long I will be there and if I will be going to another room before returning to the family room. If I step outside into the yard, her gut-wrenching screams and panic attack lead me to believe we need an exorcism stat.
My son (two years-old)) refuses to climb the staircases in our new home. We had stairs in our Omaha home and he went up and down them daily- alone. For some reason, in Seward, he insists I carry him both up and down the stairs. He weighs 35 pounds. Additionally, he has developed a high pitch scream to alert me when something isn’t going his way. If you see me sporting bright orange ear plugs, you’ll know why.
My husband (41 years-old) and I don’t always see eye-to-eye on how to approach projects around the house. We bought a beautiful, 1903, fully renovated Victorian Painted Lady. It sits on three lots equaling 8,000+ square feet of yard. Well, I wouldn’t call it “yard” as most of what we have is weeds. Needless to say, the inside of our home has been updated and meticulously cared for. Alternatively, the outside of our home seems to have been neglected for many, many years by the previous owner. My list of priorities and my husband’s list of priorities don’t seem to line up and this leads to conflict and frustration.
I’m even losing patience with the dog as she tries to bolt out the door any chance she gets.
It seems to me that things would function significantly smoother around here if people would calmly just follow my instruction. Mom knows best, right? I generally have all the answers, my way is usually the best way, and if the rest of them would just fall in line and follow my lead, things would get done and we would all be more calm. Come on people!
I know, I know, it does sound very egocentric. Scratch that, it is very egocentric. It certainly isn’t Biblical and it certainly isn’t a God-pleasing attitude. And yet, it is my attitude towards the people I love the most, most days. Somewhere in the day-to-day grit and grind of raising children and growing a marriage, how easily I stray from serving others to serving self?
Colossians 3:12-13 says, “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
That’s quite a list and all of them He so freely gives to me. So why would I withhold them from the most precious people He has graced me with? It doesn’t make sense; it is wrong; and yet, I fall short everyday.
Lord, may I seek to follow your example in truly loving those you have given me to love. Provide me with a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and help me to forgive. Use me as an example of your great love so that my children may grow to do the same. Forgive me, renew me, and plant a spirit of servant hood in my selfish heart. Amen