Something many people don’t know about me is that I remember the lyrics to songs more easily than I do important facts about American History. Since I was a young girl, I can remember music being in my life, thanks in part to my parents. They had so many albums, from Diana Ross to Elvis; The Commodores to Engelbert Humperdinck (remember him?). I would sit for hours at a time and listen to their songs and read the inside of the album covers. I would take my imaginary microphone and sing loudly! To this day, when “classic” songs come on the radio, I can usually recognize who the artists are.
When I was in 6th grade, I tried out for chorus. I was so excited because I was in love with music. I knew that my love for this amazing art would shine through during my tryouts.
Looking at the choir teacher, I stood up straight and began to sing. I was confident I would get a part in the choir; I loved music. I lived for music. This was my dream!!! I sat there for what seemed like an eternity (probably a minute), and was finally told “I’m sorry Carey, you didn’t make it.”
My heart sank. I felt like an idiot! How could someone who loved music so much be turned down? Doesn’t she know what my heart says? Didn’t she know that I have such a passion for singing?
I didn’t try out for chorus in 7th or 8th grade. In fact, I never tried out again for anything to do with music since that very day.
As I got older, I used to sit in my room with my walkman on loud (again, another “oldie” reference), play the air drums, and sing along with my favorite artists. It didn’t matter to my stuffed animals if I didn’t sound good, they would just smile anyways!
When I became an adult, my love for music continued. I went to musicals and plays. I attended many concerts, and even sang to my children when they were in my tummy. I wanted them to have an appreciation for music like I did.
When Nicolas and Paige started showing an interest in singing, I didn’t push them. I didn’t want my dream to be turned into their dream. Over the past several years, I have been blessed to watch them try out, compete and perform with their show choirs. Never would I have imagined that the little girl who couldn’t sing would have children that could.
I have prayed to God for many things: thanksgiving, healing and compassion. I have asked Him to heal me on occasion, but have never shared with anyone my ongoing prayer to God until now. For a long time, I have prayed that I would be able to feel comfortable about singing in front of a group of people.
Today while traveling back from a college visit, my son and I were singing in the car. I stopped singing for some reason and Nic said, “Mom, don’t stop. I love to hear you sing.” For the first time, the voice that has been hidden for a long time was validated by one of only 5 people that I feel comfortable singing loudly in front of.
Even if I never get the “gift of singing,” I realize that God has given me many others that I can use to praise Him. But let me tell you, if I ever get a chance to sing with a microphone, watch out because here is the song I would love to sing! I love this song, and I hope you enjoy it too! Don’t let anyone ever crush your dreams. Just keep singing!!
Singing loudly to you today,
Carey Oswald
Beautiful Savior, Beautiful Women 