His way, not my way

God’s ways are not our ways. God’s way is not my way. And even when I scratch my head and wonder, “Why, Lord?” He’s teaching me that His way is certainly the best way.

More and more I see His direct influence and guidance in the way my life’s story is playing out. I had a college boyfriend I was certain I would marry. He wasn’t a believer and was emotionally abusive- everyone saw it but me. I fought my parents’ insistence that he wasn’t good for me because I was “in love” and they didn’t see how sweet he could be. At least, that’s what I had myself fooled into believing.

Looking back, so many times God was gently luring me back to Him and asking me to turn from the worldly ways and from this young man who was pulling me from my faith. I repeatedly rejected His way  in hopes of making my story-book ending come true. It didn’t…at least not with that relationship.

It wasn’t until four years into this messy relationship that God used a nasty and dangerous situation to reconnect me to my parents and ultimately Him. I was hurting and lost and needed desperate refocusing. I found comfort and love in a sudden move from graduate school back into my parent’s home in Omaha.

Within six months of my repentance, God blessed me with the start of a career as a high school counselor and an apartment of my own. I quickly gained momentum and strength and my faith life was restored through Christ’s mercy.  Then He introduced me to my husband. At the perfect time, when I was prepared, healed and ready, God gave me Kurth: a man after His own heart, a man who actively lives the faith, a man with great patience.

Four months after we were married, my Dad (DCE and Family Life Minister) received and accepted a call to Anchorage, Alaska. They moved 3, 000 plus miles away. I didn’t think this was such a great plan on God’s part. I cried for weeks.

But in His wisdom, God used this experience to grow me. He knew that separation from my mom and dad was going to be difficult. He knew that in order for me to truly “leave my father and mother and cling to my husband” I had to be physically removed from them. It forced me to rely on my new husband rather than my parents.

Now here we are, living in Seward, starting on a new career path and raising our children in the faith. Kurth nor I, ever in a million years, would have guessed God would have pulled Kurth from his Omaha law practice and move us to Concordia University in Seward, Nebraska. But still we are amazed by His constant reminders that His way is far greater than our way.

My parents’ have moved back from Anchorage and in fact, just closed on a home one week ago from today. They are now living four blocks from us. I can walk my children from our home to their home in five minutes!

God is so good! His ways are always better than our ways and if we take a moment to really reflect on how He has worked in and among our lives, we stand in awe. Sometimes it’s almost humorous.

God wants to bless you. Even in the midst of trial and heartache, pain and suffering, He wants to bless you. He has plans to prosper and grow you, not to harm you. He loves you and sees your life played out long before you were even conceived. Trust Him. Trust His unfailing love for you trust His strong hand to guide you through whatever trial you face.

One day, in not the distant future, it will become clear. His plan will be revealed and you will rejoice- either here on Earth or with all the Saints of Heaven.

God Bless you today and in all your ways,

Jessica Brashear



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