I See His Hand- Part Two

This is a continuation of the first part of Hannah’s story you can read here.

On Saturday morning, I learned that the tumor was the size of an orange and had twisted around my left ovary causing the ovary to be completely twisted – hence the pain.  He had to remove the left ovary and found another small tumor on my right ovary, but was able to save that ovary.  I was discharged on Sunday afternoon and went home to begin the healing process.

I assumed I’d be out of work maybe two weeks, since I had a full incision across my abdomen.  I had spoken with my boss and she was helping me with the necessary paperwork.  She went through her own illness two years ago and she told me from the get-go that she didn’t want me to worry about getting back to work anytime soon and that all I needed to focus on was getting healed and recovered.

I see His hand in my boss’ compassion and understanding because of the illness she went through.  I’ve only been in this position since last October, and I see His hand in bringing me to that position before all of this happened.

My mom was able to help me for the first few days, and one of the things she did was set up a website where people could sign up to bring me meals.  I was overwhelmed at the response and how so many people either did that or brought me other groceries and flowers. I was blown away by the texts and calls and words of love by the people in my life.

I see His hand because I’ve long struggled with feeling loved – by God and by people – and this overwhelming response by so many showed me just how loved I really am.  It also provided a way for me to see a balance with receiving help from people.  I really had to humble myself because there was so much I physically couldn’t do. I’ve struggled with being both independent and co-dependent on people, and I see how God taught me a balance of this.

Once I learned I would be out of work for six weeks, I started to worry about finances.  I knew I didn’t have much time off at work, since I’ve used so much of it to cover my previous illnesses. I filed a short-term disability claim, which would help but only up to a certain percentage of my income.  However, I also knew I would be getting a bonus from my job and thought that would help a little bit.  Little did I know – it would help a lot because with my new position at work it put me into management and the bonus for management is a little higher because we’re scored on different things.

I see His hand, once again, in this financial provision.  I received significantly more than I was expecting and it was more than enough to help make up for what I would lack in income during this time.

I’ve still got over two weeks until I go back to work, but I continue to see His hand through this entire process.  It dawned on my one day that I have been so eager and anxious to see God in the “Big production, feeding-the-5000” types of miracles, and certainly those miracles are to be celebrated, but I often neglect to see Him in these smaller, every day moments.  He had long been pulling all the pieces together and orchestrating them carefully and intentionally so that all things are working for good ALL the time; before, during, and after the things I experience.

He isn’t bound by time as we are and for this I am grateful.  Because today, I can look back to yesterday and see His hand aligning events that I didn’t know would end up being quite as remarkable and important as they are for me today.

I see His hand today, in the blessing, provision, and healing… and I am amazed by how much He loves and cares for me.

And tomorrow?  I need not worry about what lies ahead because He has proven to me over and over that His hand is in every single area of my life and that He is working all things together for good.

My “planned weekend” ended up turning into a six week “vacation”. Had I been so focused on the plan I had, I may have missed out on the weeks of blessing that have come from this.  Had I focused on the pain, I would have been full of self-pity and asking, “Why is this happening?”  (And that’s another merry-go-round I have plenty of experience with.)

But I see His hand in all of this…and that is all I need.

I hope to see you again soon! Until next time,

Hannah Elizabeth

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