The things I remember (and the things I don’t)

BenQuestions, questions. So many questions. It seems my week was filled with them. Often, my mind goes to scripture, to what God says about certain things as I ponder the questions that come up. Let me give you an example. I talked with my son the other night. He and his wife are slightly sleep deprived with a newborn and a 2-year old. After having some normal issues with their son at the playground, he asked me, “Mom, did I ever do things like that?” He was referring to the occasional, seemingly unprovoked response that their 2-year old has had with children at the playground. I can’t help but remember God’s Word in which David says,Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” (Psalm 51:5)

My son went on to say, “He knows that it’s wrong, though. He feels so bad afterwards.” And I can’t help but think, “Interesting. He’s so young, doesn’t always speak real words, and yet he knows–HE KNOWS–that what he did was wrong.” Here’s how: Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,  and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. The very next verse shows us that God teaches us wisdom; yes, even as a little child.

My answer to my son’s question? “I can’t remember.” Did he do naughty things when he was little? Of course. We all did. We are human, born into sin. Did he do the same naughty things that his son is doing? Maybe, maybe not. At this point, I’m thankful for selective memory, or dare I say ‘memory loss?’ Those things that seemed so awful at the time, like small children who drive you to…well…whatever they drive you to…those memories just fade away, and somehow by the time you’re a Nana, all you remember about your children is how wonderful they were. They were the perfect children.  Well, you may remember the more major incidents. Like, I remember my youngest biting  my best friend’s daughter when she was about 3. It was traumatic (for me and for my friend, but not for my daughter). As she says even to this day, “Mom, no one messes with my little ponies and gets away with it!”

Ruminating a bit more on Psalm 51, David wrote this Psalm after being confronted by Nathan about his sin against Bathsheba. (See 2nd Samuel 11.) David cries out for God’s mercy as he realizes that he has sinned not only against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah, but against the God who loves him. “Have mercy on me, O God,” he cries. “According to your abundant mercy…wash me…cleanse me from my sin. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and a right spirit.”  For me, verses 11 and 12 are key: “Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

Lord, I know that I was born into sin, but I thank you that when I was baptized, I was born again just as Peter wrote: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! He has caused us to be born again (born from above) through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead (1 Peter 1:3). I echo David’s cry, “Don’t cast me away from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” Thank you, Lord, that you cleanse me from all of my sins, even the ones I committed when I was a little child, just like my grandson. My prayer these days is that my grandchildren “will know You, God, You who are their Savior.” I pray that they “will sing of your righteousness. and will declare your praise.” Thank you for hearing this Nana’s prayer in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Receive God’s cleansing today, my friends!



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