I have been blessed with the opportunity of being a Wedding Coordinator at our church for over 8 years. No, I’m not like Jennifer Lopez in “The Wedding Planner.” I am “the lady at the church that helps get couples and their wedding parties down the aisle in a timely fashion.” I tend to the needs of every family member from helping to pin corsages to getting the joy of showing love to flower girls and ring bearers. However, I don’t “plan” the wedding. What’s more, I have nothing to do with the reception or even the honeymoon!
Recently, I assisted a young couple, Bobby and Vicki, on their wedding day, June 14, 2014. With their permission, I am going to write about their special day as it has set precedence for other couples to follow.
At our very first meeting, Bobby and Vicki knew what they needed and wanted on their wedding day. They were organized, calm and couldn’t stop smiling. Many couples who come to me aren’t sure what a Wedding Coordinator really does, and haven’t thought through all the details that might need attention.
On their special day, Bobby and Vicki had a few different things planned. They didn’t have the traditional unity candle, they chose a Unity Cross– two different large cross pieces that are held together with 3 pegs representing The Father, Son and Holy Spirit. There is a beautiful description that goes along with this that the pastor reads.
Following tradition, they chose not to see one another before they walked down the aisle. However, they had a unique and beautiful picture taken together. While standing on either side of the door leading to the worship center and without seeing one another, they held hands. Watching this tender exchange of love for each other, my heart just welled up with emotion. Then, Bobby did something that set the day apart from others getting married. He prayed with Vicki.
As I fluffed Vicki’s dress and sent her down the aisle, I couldn’t help but smile knowing that she was in for surprise. Both Vicki and Bobby are members of our church worship team. On their special day, the worship team came to sing a few praise songs. Little did Vicki know that Bobby was going to leave her side that day and sing a beautiful song entitled, “You’re Beautiful” by Phil Wickham. As I sat there in the crowd with my own husband, we both were hit by many emotions. This couple began their marriage with something many don’t. God was the center of their wedding and nothing else.
This prompted me to write to you today. When you starting thinking about your wedding day, here are just a few things to remember:
1. The details–decorations, flowers and colors don’t really matter if you haven’t asked God to join you in this occasion. Start your married life off with prayer; invite God to your wedding day. This prayer could be shared just with your future spouse or with your entire wedding group.
2. If something goes wrong on your wedding day, it isn’t a sign that your marriage is doomed. We have had unity candles not light, ring bearers run back down the aisle, groomsmen faint and straps of dresses break. What will you remember most about that day, mistakes or the beauty of the moment when you are pronounced husband and wife?
3. Saving yourself until marriage is not “traditional” by the world’s standards anymore. Surprisingly, I have found that many couples have made that commitment and keep it until their wedding night. This sets your marriage up for honesty, love, respect and integrity. If you have already crossed that line with your future spouse, why not hold back again until your wedding day. Make a commitment to one another to wait again.
4. During your ceremony, take a moment and look out at the crowd that is there supporting you on your day. Whether that’s during the lighting of the unity candle or when you are pronounced husband and wife. You will never see this moment again, cherish it.
5. The kiss–take your time and enjoy the moment. The photographers always want a picture of the kiss! Remember, this is the very first moment you get to kiss as husband and wife. Enjoy it!!
No wedding is perfect. Things will go wrong and it helps you to see that your future won’t be perfect either. Marriage isn’t perfect, it’s a relationship filled with many ups and downs. God doesn’t expect perfection. He expects your best.
Vicki and Bobby’s day was definitely one I will always remember because they chose to do things their way and also in God’s way.
As my husband and I celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary next week, I wish I would have taken the time to pray with my husband, just the way Vicki and Bobby did. What a wonderful way to start off your marriage.
I’m sharing the song that Bobby sang for his beautiful bride. Enjoy.
Praying for you this week, my beautiful friends,