I do not enjoy watching my children suffer.

This weekend has been challenging. I do not like to watch my children suffer; I have a sick one right now who is miserable.

Saturday morning, I was able to go out to breakfast with a dear friend of mine. Toward the end of our time together, I received a call from my husband – which I ignored, since the friend and I were winding down an in-depth, philosophical, beautiful, personal conversation. Two minutes later I received another call from my husband (it is very, very rare that he would call twice in a row), so this time I answered. He stated that our youngest felt hot. He wondered if I had given her medicine before I left, and where he could find the thermometer. I explained that I had not been able to locate the thermometer the past two of three times I thought of using it, and offered to stop and get one on my way home.

Fast forward a couple of hours. The brand new temporal thermometer was used after Lydia’s nap and the reading was an alarming 104.5. I checked again 105.1. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it with cool water, and laid it on her little forehead.  I she was offered some liquid, which she took a few sips of. I decided to take her to the Emergency Department as a fever this high can be dangerous. I rounded up the other three children and herded them into their jackets and shoes. I went back to check Lydia one more time—thinking perhaps her temp had dropped significantly and we wouldn’t have to load up everyone for a trip to the ED. Not the case- the thermometer again read 105.1.

At the ED, I explained the fever thing, and they got us checked in and into a room fairly quickly. When they took her temp with the hospital temporal thermometer the scan was 98.6. They took it again 99.1. One more time: 98.9. At this point, I’m feeling thankful that her temperature wasn’t registering as dangerous; yet I’m also feeling a little awkward that I just brought in a kid who has a runny nose and nothing more to the ED. The staff was respectful and the Doc who saw us took an axillary temp just to verify another way- 98.8. It was stated that she probably is experiencing a viral illness (lungs sound good and as long as she’s still accepting fluids, she’s able to go home for treatment). She gave us care instruction for fever and recommended following up with her pediatrician on Monday.

The past 48 hours have been a constant monitoring of her temperature (which on our at home has cycled from 104 to 98 readings). Trying to keep a 14-month old comfortable and not sharing with her siblings. Administering of medicine every three to four hours. Interrupted sleep. And prayers for healing.

Sometimes I go to the why questions as I think and pray. But tonight as I was rocking with Lydia and praying, this scripture passage came to mind: “As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth.  And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” John 9:1-3.

I trust my Heavenly Father. The Works of God will be displayed though this time of trial, no matter the outcome. God is a loving Father, and just like me, he does not enjoy watching his children suffer. He wants to heal (the root ‘heal’ is mentioned 197 times in the ESV Bible) them.

I don’t want to downplay physical healing, because I long for that for my daughter (your prayers for her health would be appreciated greatly). But even more than that, I long for her (and my) spiritual healing and restoration. I’m so thankful for the death and resurrection of Jesus for the sins of the whole world ( hers and mine included). And I’m beyond thankful and in no way deserving of the gift promised of eternal life. “’Death is swallowed up in victory.’ ‘O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?’ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:55-57.

Soli Deo gloria

Stacey

Post Script:

Part of the aforementioned conversation that was beautiful and philosophical on Saturday morning included a discussion and prayers for Brittany Maynard—the young woman who publically shared her journey with a terminal illness and her choice to legally “die with dignity”

In light of the passing of Brittany Maynard; may we continue to lean into the victory given to us in Christ Jesus, no matter what our circumstances- that the Works of God may be displayed. I don’t know Brittany’s heart, but The Lord does. May we, as a community of believers, cling to the victory we have in Jesus, not the outrage we have at a sin-filled world.

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