To Date Or Not To Date, That Is The Question








With my daughter’s permission, I’d like share a story with you.

Our daughter Paige recently turned the sweet age of 16. Paige is our middle child, the quiet and sometimes reserved child.  God has always made me feel like He has a special plan for her.  Ever since she was born she has had a caring spirit about her.  She has always been a loving young woman, especially to those that are hurting or in pain.

We have always been honest with our kids about what our dating life was like before marriage.  For my husband, he chose to date when he felt God sent him someone to date.  My history of dating stems back to the 7th grade as I was always “boy crazy” and at times I couldn’t live without a relationship.  I was filling a void from my childhood abuse.

When it comes to teaching our kids about dating, we haven’t been too conservative in our views but we always asked our kids to be thoughtful when it came to beginning  or ending a relationship.  Our son Nic has had a few short relationships.  Paige hasn’t had a dating history but recently she began exploring the possibility of dating.

Many years ago an amazing couple from our church would speak to the high school students about what parts of the body were ok to touch and which ones they should avoid.  They also spoke about knowing that dating is what leads to marriage and if you aren’t ready to get married then dating may not be right for you.

The other night as I sat down with my daughter and had a discussion on the pros and cons of dating at her age, I remember what the couple from church had shared.  On Paige’s list were many things, but the one I was most proud of was that she didn’t want to enter in to a relationship that crossed the line (sex).  She knows that giving into a temptation is something that can’t be taken back.

I am a mom who chose not to save herself mentally or even physically for marriage.  I feel that Paige is making the right choice in her relationship with God and whomever she decides to date rather than just trying to appease her parents.

As I write to you today, my daughter is sharing her pros and cons of dating with a boy that she likes.  She has chosen to show him where her heart is and has chosen to be honest and open with him about what she expects from a relationship and where God is leading her.

After Paige and her friend discussed dating and God’s plan in their life, they shared with us what they had discovered. Afterwards, they allowed my husband and I to pray over them.

My children will make mistakes in their lives as I’ve told them many times.  I have never expected them to be perfect , but when a child of yours listens to what you ask them to do – and they do it – it definitely makes you feel like God has brought some redemption and forgiveness to the mistakes you’ve made in your life.

How amazing is it that my sins, my short comings and even my failures have been forgiven through Christ and they allow me to help others develop a positive relationship with Him.

God, Thank you for using a woman like me to bring glory to Your kingdom.

Your sister in Christ,

Carey Oswald


4 thoughts on “To Date Or Not To Date, That Is The Question

  1. What a beautiful account of authentic, thoughtful, and purposeful communication with your daughter. The consideration and prayer given to this dating decision will shape her life in so many positive ways. Thank you for sharing, Carey!

  2. Thank you Betsy!!! I am thankful to some very amazing married couples in our church who have helped teach us how to be Godly role models for our kids!! Blessings to you today!

  3. Well done! What a blessing your relationship is…I look forward to having these types of conversations with my kids someday too!

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