A couple of weeks ago I attended the Women of Faith conference with some of my family. I had attended a Women of Faith event a few years ago, but this year, the Women of Faith event had a different meaning, as I had a new title in my life since the last time I had attended, and that was mom. Since I now play an added role in my life as a women and mother, the things that God was speaking to me during the conference, were quite a bit different than the messages that spoke to me a few years ago.
I have to admit, that sometimes, being a mom is really tough. But I wasn’t really aware of just how tough that title can be in relation to my relationship with other women around me. I’d like to think that I’m a somewhat laidback person and I go with the flow, but as the weekend progressed, I began to realize that this is not necessarily the case.
I am a perfectionist. I think part of this strives out of my wanting to be enough to the people around me, and wanting people to notice and like me. And sometimes, I think that the amount of time I spend on Facebook looking at photos my friends are posting, is doing me some harm. I mean, I look at the photos that my friends are posting of their daughter’s Frozen birthday parties, homemade Halloween costumes, cute valentines designed at home on the computer with catchy messages, and the cute first day of school gifts they are making for their kids’ teachers, and immediately I look at my life as mom and the things that I do for my own children and wonder if they are missing something because I’m not doing these things.
I’ve attempted to do these things. This year for my daughter’s birthday, I tried to make a cute Tinkerbell dress for my daughter’s birthday party, without a pattern. The last time I sewed was about 20 years ago in junior high school (I’m not kidding here!) when I made boxers in my home economics course. I mean, I remembered how to do seams and how to use a sewing machine. But I attempted to make her dress without a pattern. I did use a dress of hers that currently fits, as a guide to make a pattern. It took me hours to make her dress look just perfect and cute! And then I had her try it on. IT DIDN”T FIT! She couldn’t even get the dress over her head. It was an epic fail. I did manage to make her a second dress, in about half the time, but it wasn’t as nice as the first one, as I had run out of time. This one fit her, and it looked pretty cute on her too. She wore it to her party, and everyone commented on what a great job I had done making that dress. However, I just felt like a failure, because what I had envisioned the dress looking like, and how it actually turned out, looked completely different.
My favorite speaker from the entire weekend, was someone that was new this year to Women otf Faith, but her message still resonates with me. Jen Hatmaker, gave this amazing message on our worth as women. She too, has fallen into this trap of trying to earn favor and worth, and she shared with us that a few years ago, God did something revolutionary in her walk with Him, when he revealed to her that there is nothing that she can do earn that will either earn God’s love or cause her to lose his love.
You see, we as women have incredible worth in God’s eyes. He loved us so much, that He sent His only son to die for us on the cross. I want you to just pause right now while reading this and think about that for just a moment. Let that sink in. It’s a pretty incredible thought when you think about it and let it sink in. However, as women, we’re so used to being defined as having worth in other women’s eyes, and even men’s eyes, if we are keeping a clean house, cooking homemade Pinterest meals and posting our photos on Facebook, or making those cute Halloween costumes. But that’s not what God considers when he considers our worth. He considers His son, hanging on the cross, in our place. Christ died for all of us. Those of us who are good at sewing and cooking and being creative, and those of you reading this like me, who attempt to do the creative stuff, and who are sometimes successful, but will sometimes fail.
So, this week, I challenge you to remember this, as you are tempted to try to keep up with what the other women are doing. You are not less of a women or less of a mother, if you do drive-thru for supper and buy a store bought Halloween costume! And your worth is not determined by what you do or do not do. Your worth is determined by the Almighty Creator who created you and loves you with an unconditional and everlasting love.
May you rest in that love this week.
Signed the mother who is not going to make homemade Halloween costumes this year,