Those days. Those weeks. Those months. Those moments. We all have them. The times that make our hearts stop. The words that make our breath catch in our throat. The struggles that just wear us out. The storms of life can be raging around us, and all we want to do is fall to our knees and cry out. We want to scream with anger at anyone who will listen. We want to shake our fist at God and ask why. We want to do whatever we can. We want to do anything we can. We want to DO something. Talk. Beg. Push. Pray. Bargain. Plead. Wonder. Question. Argue. Doubt. Cry. Yell. Anything!
I am in the midst of one of those times right now. When the winds are rushing and I am struggling to walk into them. I want to gather myself and push day by day, conversation by conversation, bit by bit back to where I want to be. But that is too far, too hard, and I simply cannot make it on my own. The Lord could reach down and help me. Just a simple thought crossing his mind could take away all my pain and restore things. But that’s not the path he chooses for me. He put me in this struggle so I can learn. I know that to be true, because I needed it. I had strayed from his path and needed the wake up call. So I turn to his Word knowing it can be my only solace.
I find Psalm 46:10 which says simply, “Be still and know that I am God.” I want to argue. I want to plead my case. God, I need you. You have to help me. You have to do something! But God wants us to submit to him – to turn everything over to him. He will answer in his time, not our time. He may answer with something I don’t like. The something that I have to do is stop. Stop and be still. Be still and let him. Let him do what he does. Let him show me the reasons when I am ready. Let him change the situation if he chooses. Let him show me why I suffer. Let him help me change my heart. Just be. Be still.