You know that tongue twister of St. Paul, the one in Romans? I read it again recently and I thought “ouch, you’re talking about me”. No ducking the bullet here. God often does that to wake me up especially when I think I’m doing okay and handling my life just fine. He makes me very uncomfortable, while I’m trying to hide behind a false persona. His letter in chapter 7 goes like this:
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Hey that’s me even on a good day. So I get down on my knees feeling humbled realizing my life is more like the “Gong Show” also conveniently referenced by God through Paul again in 1 Cor 13:1 “…if I do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” Yep, there I am again definitely not fine and definitely not reflecting my maker, but then God follows up His very pointed reminder with a touch of His grace. Ah, I love how He does that.
Following that reading, one of my devotions had this beautiful message:
“God delights in how He made you. You are one of His masterpieces. You are His song to be sung in a key of music that is unique to you, in a rhythm, a harmony and an orchestration that God rejoices to sing inside of you. The music of heaven graces your life as others see and hear and touch who you are, so that they receive from Him the awesome display of His delight in you.” – Sylvia Gunter
Wow Lord. I am messed up on most days and woefully out of tune. You know that and your word speaks to me as a loving reminder, that when I get completely down on myself and listen to the devil tell me I’m no good ever [get behind me Satan], I need to hear your strong voice that says I am not perfect by myself – I only have perfection and worth in You; and I have an song to sing that shouts your glory, your love and your goodness – because Lord, this noisy, wounded, weary world needs to hear your anthem.
Blessings as you find your melody in Christ! Doneta